glowcrown:

The drive home from a concert where you’re tired but you’re so happy to have witnessed something so great so you just sit there engrossed in memories from the show reblog if u agree

mothdogs:

vampireapologist:

being a cashier is so stressful i’ll be like “hi! how are you :^)” and the customer will hand me a screwdriver and say “my granddaughter had a miscarriage this morning” and I’m like …………………..i’m so sorry that’s $2.33

Deadass I once told a customer “Have a nice day!” and he responded that he couldn’t because it was the anniversary of his wife’s murder

poussbae:

physicsmagics:

physicsmagics:

hi im a cashew white guy and I’m gonna say a slur to be funny because fuck political correctness

i just realized that autocorrect changed cishet to cashew I’m going to bed

why did I not question “cashew” as a type of white guy tho

frawgs:

when ur chapstick smell good

libertarirynn:

wallpatterns:

oopsabird:

god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass

Darling

Face all challenges with a shot of vodka and “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”

nurseyiiisms:

even if my titties aren’t physically out, they’re spiritually out, and that’s what matters

zieglera:

me: I’m going to go to bed early

me:

egberts:

mountain dew doesn’t feel like a soda you can order at a restaurant. you can’t sit down at a restaurant, ask for a mountain dew, and then sip it out of a glass cup. it’s like you either have to get it at taco bell or you have to get a 2 liter of it and drink it right from the bottle. there are no other options for mountain dew.